19 July, 2013 London

Hannah woke me bright and early 6:00 AM London time, that's 1:00 AM Florida time.  I was able to successfully ignore her pleas for me to get up only for a short while.  Then she was dismayed when I grabbed my computer to email all of you.  I reminded her of the "talk" we had before we left.  "I will email my friends almost every day while we are there..." She stopped nagging.

I don't know if it's me, or if it's Londoners, but I just can't seem to follow any directions anyone gives me.  We stumbled across Ron, the man who showed us to the boat on the first day, the one whom I was sure was going to turn us into fish food.  I asked him to recommend a breakfast place.  These are the directions he gave me, "Go across the bridge, make a left, and it's right there. Oh, stay on our side."  I swear THAT is what he said.  

I crossed the bridge, made the first left, and... nothing.  Not only was there no breakfast place, but it was a residential neighbourhood.  Then it occurred to me that maybe by "stay on our side" he meant, don't cross the bridge to the other side of the Thames, but rather go from the west side of the bridge to the east side of bridge, staying north of the River.  So... we back-tracked across the Tower Bridge, went down the stairs, walked along the Tower of London, stared a bit at Traitors Gate and pondered what it must have been like for those unfortunate souls who entered through there.

Despite going the only other way Ron could have meant, we still didn't find the place.  So we approached a group of guards outside the Tower of London and asked them to recommend someplace.  The recommended "The Kitchen" and said it had a Full English Breakfast.  Seeing as how close we were to Traitor's Gate, I refrained from making any disparaging comments about beans and black pudding.  Off we went.                            

I really enjoyed The Kitchen.  It's a bright and cheery restaurant where the wait staff (two people) were friendly and helpful.  Hannah ordered the Kitchen Sink, only without the black pudding, tomatoes, beans, and mushrooms.  He said he would charge us a la carte because that made more sense, I ordered the vegetarian full English breakfast. It came with something they called vegetarian sausage, and I expected something like a veggie burger in sausage shape, but it wasn't.  It was more like an egg roll full of veggies closer to their original veggie-form.  I loved it.

Years ago I remodelled my kitchen.  I ordered counter tops that were a burnt-sienna colour, kind of like brick.  After I ordered them, but before the re-modellers ordered them from the manufacturer, they became discontinued.  The owner came back with a bunch of samples for me to choose from and I chose one that was close to my first choice.  This was a valuable lesson.  Don't ever go with "close", just start all over again.  My kitchen counter tops look more like pink than brick.  Sigh.  Fast forward to today, as I sat in that restaurant, contemplating what I would drink.  Should I get the coffee, hoping it's similar to my beloved American coffee?  Or should I forgo any delusions that I will find something like American coffee and order tea?  I went with tea, and really really missed my coffee.

On the way back to the boat I spotted a coffee stand.  Any chance they would have something palatable?  I looked at the sign and there was a long list of things like espresso, cappuccino, Americano, but no plain cup of coffee.  I said, "I just want a flipping cup of coffee!"  He said he could make that for me.  HE LIED!!!!!

After returning to the boat, Hannah played with the little girl next door.  I told her that if she makes some friends here, she could very well go home with an accent.  She's trying.  I responded to my friend Dennis' email.  Dennis and his wife Jane are here in London for a few more days and we are hoping to meet up.  They are walking and cycling their way across Europe, and you can read about their journey here.

Then we headed out to Shepherd's Bush, where we stayed last time we were in London.  I had something I needed to get for my husband.  On the way we passed just the store I was looking for.  This was the store I knew I would find the prize for my friend, Dawn, winner of the drawing.  First I considered this gigantic Paddington Bear Mug.

 Or maybe...

Ooh!  I found it, the PERFECT gift for any woman.  Union Jack leggings!

 Or maybe...

A selection of war animal figurines?

 Or maybe...

A Bard rubber-ducky?

 Or maybe...

OH MY GOSH!!! This is it.  A solar powered waving queen.

  Hannah calls it a bobble-hand.  Her hand waves back and forth.

We made it to Shepherd's Bush, stopped in the mall for a little bit, just to use a restroom, sit in the a/c, and relax a little before heading back.  Remember I said that Hannah won't sit next to strangers?  She couldn't bring herself to sit in the empty seat, beside the young man in the green shirt.

Here is the prize.  It will sent out in the mail tomorrow.

13 August, 2011

Today we went to the Shepherd's Bush Festival and the of the largest malls in the UK.

We started out with a visit to La Crema for breakfast.  This is the same place Bob and I went to a couple of days ago for a traditional English breakfast.  Funny name for an English restaurant.  All of the tables were too small for our big brood so we took two.  Almost all orders were delivered this way, "Can I have the full breakfas,t but without the beans and tomatoes, and with hash browns?" or "Can I get this, but without the sausage?"  Hannah and Ariel shared. 

There is something kind of odd that I have noticed in a lot of public bathrooms.  The sinks have two faucets, one for cold and one for hot, so you can either use the hot water or the cold water.  Who thought that was a good idea?  Your hands are either burning or freezing. Sometimes I keep my left hand under the hot faucet and the right hand under the cold then try splashing the water on the other hand to make it warm.  It doesn't really work.  Equally odd is that many still have those old style hand towels on the roll that most of haven't seen in decades.  The kind where you grab the towel and pull and it turns in the machine to give you a clean spot.  I am sure it's been at least thirty years since I've seen one.

The festival was right across the street from the restaurant.  There were live bands, some face painting (as promised,  but no unveiled woman taking advantage) some cheesy rides, and then... we discovered some African drummers.  They had about thirty drums and were teaching the audience.  Ariel, Michael, and Bob got in on the fun.  Michael didn't quit until his hands and arms got sore.  Matthew and Jacob enjoyed some laser tag, and Hannah got her face painted and went into the bumper balls.  I wasn't sure if Bob's big smile was because he was having fun or because of the cleavage shot he was getting from the woman sitting beside him.  I didn't include a picture in order to maintain the G rating.

Then it was off to the mall.  Oh my, this mall was HUGE.  We split up into two groups, the guys and the girls.  We had an hour and a half.  We girls went into three stores, the Disney store (didn't buy anything), a book store (bought a little something for Hannah), and the cutest little shop that featured all sorts of colourful things no one needs but everyone would want (bought a little tooth fairy box for Hannah).  I don't know where the guys went, but they came back with bags and bags.  Who says women shop more than men?  We also ate there, well the kids did.  They don't have a real food court, like we think of.  They had real restaurants with a host or hostess and real seating, with real wait staff.  We went to a burger place and all of the kids ate.  Bob and I wanted Thai and there is a little place just down the street from our house. 

On the way home I ran into the grocery store to pick up a few necessities and the woman in line in front of me said, "Why don't you go ahead of me and use the self-check out?"  Well I live in Sarasota, I know how those things work.  I went over and scanned my items, put them in the bag, and pressed the "finished" button.  Then the machine asked me to scan my card.  My card?  I don't have a card.  I don't even know what kind of card it was asking about.  I turned to the register where the real people were and they gave me a look of concern in exchange for my look of confusion  I said, "I don't have a card.  What should I do?"  The cashier told me not to worry, just hit the cash button.  Doesn't that beg the question, why did he give me a concerned look?  Here's the thing.  Bob had asked me to get him some cigarettes while I was in there, but with all of the confusion at the self-check out machine, I forgot.  So I got back in line and now it was really really long.  I thought Well, I will just run into a convenience store on the way back but then I remembered that a lot of the stores are run by Muslims with signs that say, "Absolutely no alcohol on premises"  I didn't know if that meant there is none to sell or none can be brought in.  I was going over what to do in my mind when I ran across the street (English style- look right, not left) when I saw Bob standing there waiting for me.  Phew!  One less thing to worry about. 

We went into the Thai restaurant and ordered our food.  Now we are home for the evening.  During the day I was able to get lots of English people to talk to me.  I even met an Australian woman who has done a number of home exchanges and was excited to meet another exchanger.  It might be the part of the city we are staying in, but there are surprisingly few English people.  Everywhere we go the people are from somewhere else.  Our waiter was from South Africa, the next door neighbour is from Australia, we met an American woman yesterday.  There are far more foreigners than English here.  I wonder if they say, "Would the last Englishmen to leave the city please take the flag," like we say about Miami. 

London 6 August

I have decided not to number the days, but rather give you the date (European style) because I seem to have a lost a day somewhere and listing the day just reminds me that I have one less day of vacation.

Last night after I sent the update, Bob and I went pubbing.  Is that a real word?  Sounds like clubbing, looks like clubbing, only it's done in a pub instead of a club.  I think it was a gay pub.  We were walking down the street and a VERY gay man (as opposed to a sort of gay man) stopped us to tell us that is was a good pub to go in.  He was a lot of fun and I am happy we took his advice.  I think he liked Bob.  He asked our names and the conversation went sort of like this:

Him: I'm Paul.

Me: Hi, I'm Diana.

Paul: Well helloooo Diana.

Bob: I'm Bob

Paul: What?

Bob: Bob

Paul: WHAT?

Bob: Bob B-O-Bob

Paul: B-O- WHAT?

Bob: B-O-B

Paul: OH! BOB! Why didn't you say that?  Say it- Bob.

Bob: Bob

Paul: No, Bob

Bob: Bob

Paul: No, Bob

This went on for the longest time while I was practically rolling on the ground laughing.  It was even much longer if you include the time he spent teaching Bob how to say Paul

"No, not pull, PAUL..."

Eventually we went in.  I did metion that this was a gay pub, but it was more than just a gay pub, it was a gay karoake pub.  They were singing, appropriately, "Bohemian Rhapsody" when we walked in.  I was, like so many of the people in the pub, singing along, but was told that I lacked passion!  This, by an English person!  So I added some drama, some flair, some swooning, and finished off with me the back of my hand on my forehead belting out "Nothing really matters tooooooo meeeeeeee!"  Then I got a thumbs up.  We had fun.  I had more fun, but even Bob had fun.  When we returned to the house we sat out in the garden and watched the cat, Brownie, kill a mouse. 

"Don't touch dead animals!" is not what a mom wants to say first thing in the morning.  You would think that Brownie would have had the courtesy to take the mouse away, or that Hannah would have the good sense not to play with dead animals. 

This morning we went out without the kids.  We were going to Sir John Soane's Museum.  We left the house and stopped for an authentic English breakfast.  I have a friend, an English friend who shall remain nameless, who told me that they don't really call sausage "bangers".  I am not going to argue with him.  What do I know?  The proof is in the black pudding...

I had the veggie breakfast, Bob had the "full English" breakfast.  Mine came with eggs, hash browns, mushrooms, beans, tomato and toast.  Bob's came with two eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, tomato and toast.

You might be thinking Wait a minute, those look like baked beans, like franks and beans type beans, like Boston baked beans kinda beans.  If that is what you are thinking then you are correct.  Except that they were cold and a little crunchier than we usually eat them.  The tomato was great, the mushrooms were great, I am not crazy about eggs but they tasted like eggs, the hash browns tasted like potato knishes.  I tasted Bob's sausage.  It was okay, not like what we might call a sausage, but not bad.  We also had some coffee, but I don't want to talk about that again.  Then we were off to the museum.

That same friend of mine suggested that we take the bus whenever possible to allow us to see more of the city.  That was great advice, thank you, so as we headed for the tube I said to Bob, "Oh, that friend whose name I don't want to say so I don't embarrass him in my emails told us to take the bus, remember?"  So we took the bus.  We had to transfer and we were extra diligent about paying attention to the stops.  We took lots of pictures and laughed at a man wearing fish net hose and garters.  (I did not take pictures of that, but not for lack of trying).  We got off at the right stop but couldn't find where to pick up the next bus.  On the bus map it just tells you the name of an intersection, but it doesn't tell you what corner or street, some of these intersections have six roads, how were we to know which spot?  We ended up following a bus until we found where it stopped and then got the next one.  We got on and we were extra diligent about paying attention to stops.  The bus just kept going and going and going.  At some point is almost seemed that maybe, just maybe we had gone too far.  Eventually Bob went downstairs (this was a double decker bus) and sure enough we missed the stop waaaaay back there.  We hopped off and took the next one going in the opposite direction.  We got off at the right stop AND learned that we didn't miss the stop.  There was a diversion (their word for detour) and our stop was never announced.  Now we were on our way, and only an hour past the time we had anticipated.  But hey, we did get to see some parts of the city we wouldn't otherwise have.

Sir John Soane's Museum (http://www.soane.org/) must be the most difficult museum to find in all of London.  It took countless walks around countless corners and asking for countless directions from countless people before we finally found it on our own.  It was worth it.  I am not going to tell you about it, you can check out the web site if you'd like, but he was an eclectic architect and collector who bequeathed his home to the city with the condition that it remain in its original condition.  He even has his wife's favourite dog, Fanny, buried there.  Who would name a dog Fanny? Sounds like the name of a babysitter I had when I was a little girl. They have a very strict NO PHOTOGRAPHY policy, so sadly I have no photos to show you.  Oh wait, I just remembered... I do have one.  I saw the most frightening, the most disturbing, the most upsetting thing I have ever seen in all my life in the gift shop.  And once I regained consciousness and explained why I had fainted, the woman, (who asked that we not tell ANYONE, ANYONE AT ALL) allowed us to take a photo in the gift shop.  Please don't tell anyone that the friendly woman who works at the Soane Museum in London broke the "no-photography" policy for us.  Here it is.  Please sit down first.  I don't want anyone to get hurt.

Then we went off to find another place that we could not find and eventually headed home.  This time on the tube.

The day was like a not "too cold" Florida winter day- highs in the mid 60's.  Super light drizzle.